Exploring Emotions

Emotions are a natural way of expressing your feelings.  We all have emotions, and they are nothing to be ashamed of.   Emotions are a normal part of life.  People respond to emotions in all sorts of different ways.   Anger, shame, frustration, love, jealousy, and loneliness are all powerful emotions. Sometimes it can feel as though our emotions are in control of us.  There are ways to control emotions, especially if they are having a negative impact on your relationships.  Once you understand your emotions and why they make you feel a certain way, you can learn to control them.

What Is Anger?

• Anger is a feeling which is often expressed as an unpleasant feeling.

• Anger can make us react in certain ways.

• Anger can be connected to other emotions such as fear, frustration, and sadness. 

• Anger can arise from internal events (within your own self) such as remembering something bad that happened to you. 

• Anger can also arise from external events (outside of your control) such as someone blaming you for something you didn’t do or someone destroying something that belonged to you. 

Physical effects of Anger

What happens when you get Angry?

• Your heart may beat faster. 

• Your voice may get louder.

• Your face may turn red. 

• Your breathing may speed up. 

• You might shake or feel numb. 

• Your muscles may feel tight. 

• You might start sweating.

It is a myth that boys are naturally angrier than girls.  Both males and females experience anger.  It is how we react to anger that creates a difference.  Through gender roles and stereotypes we can see that historically males have been conditioned to behave more aggressively in their actions.  This does not mean that females experience anger any less than males, it is just that females may have been conditioned to bottle up their anger or to react differently.

Reacting negatively to anger can have a devastating impact on your life and your relationships.   There are laws and social norms that place limits on how much we can react to anger.  Despite the law, anger is still commonly used as an excuse to use violence.

It is often assumed that anger is the cause of Domestic Violence.  This is a myth.  If it were true then everyone would be using violence to communicate in their relationships as we all experience anger.  We all get angry, but we also have a choice about how we express our anger. 

Exercising control over feelings of anger is possible as there are many things that can be done to achieve this.  How people react to anger is something that has been learned throughout life, and therefore can be unlearned and replaced with healthier patterns of coping.  It is okay to express your anger, but as long as it is not being negatively inflicted upon yourself or anyone else. 

So what can you do?

• Skate
• Draw
• Join Karate
• Go Bowling
• Count to 10
• Go for a run
• Have a bath
• Beating drums
• Talk to a friend
• Beating a pillow
• See a counsellor
• Listen to loud music
• Walk along the beach
• Spend time with your pet
• Talk to a confidential help line
• Play an instrument really loud
• Hitting a ball against a wall with racket
• Make a swear jar ($1 for each swear word)
• Express feelings by writing in a journal or a diary
• Writing a letter of anger and then ripping it up afterwards

For more information about stress, anger, being assertive or handling conflict, click on “food for thought” and use the drop menu to select your topic.